35 Ways to Stack Cycling

Named after the song by Train, 50 Ways to Say Goodbye.

Welcome to 35 ways to stack cycling!!!!! By the way, stack means to crash.

  1. Attempting to get on your bike, your foot gets stuck in the wrong stirrup.
  2. Attempting to get off your bike at the traffic lights, your foot gets stuck once again.
  3. In a moment of madness, you decide to cross the path of a car travelling at 80 kph with less than 10 metres distance.
  4. While whizzing down a hill at 70 kph, a car parked on the kerb swings open its door, leaving you with an unwanted door on your bike.
  5. As you cross the railway crossing, your bike’s thin tyres get stuck in the tracks simultaneously as you hear the approaching train’s whistle.
  6. Cycling late at night, you forget that there is an enormous pothole in the road.
  7. You decide to try answering your mobile while cycling.
  8. You feel tired and lower your head for a brief six seconds as you cruise into a sharp corner with a railing in front of you.
  9. As you attempt to break the sound barrier, your bicycle snaps in half.
  10. A car drives just a bit too close to the cycling lane.
  11. As you cycle through the intersection at the lights, you find that someone is running a red light – straight through you.
  12. The car directly behind you is going alot faster than you.
  13. The driver of the car turning directly in front forgot about the cyclist he just whizzed past.
  14. The car coming out of the sidestreet apparently didn’t look left and right.
  15. You forgot to pump your tyres up, and hit a terrific bump which resulted in a horrific bang.
  16. You hit road spikes laid out by some thoughtful individual.
  17. The person who decided to play chicken with you, finds out that he swung the steering wheel a bit too far and that you’re no chicken.
  18. While cycling downhill off-road, you come to a fork. Choosing one, you sprint down it to find that it ends in a three metre drop.
  19. You catch an egg on your glasses.
  20. The car in front decides to slow down from 40 kph to 10 kph, with you directly behind it.
  21. As you glide through the shopping centre carpark, some goon decides to step on the gas as he accelerates.
  22. Some impatient driver decides to overtake a car via the side lane, only to find that you WERE cycling there, but not anymore.
  23. While off-road, you decide to take a sharp corner drifting, only to find that you drift off the edge and into the forest.
  24. Going downhill, you suddenly realise that your breaks are broken.
  25. In order to surprise any would-be thieves, you release both your brakes. Upon resumption of cycling, you forget all about your handiwork.
  26. That mangy mutt decides to cross the road right in front of you.
  27. As you put your effort into climbing the hill, you find that your handlebars have structural rust – big-time.
  28. As you approach a pedestrian, you give them a friendly warning with your bell, to have them step directly in front of you.
  29. As you cycle past a blissfully ignorant passer-by, he decides to step directly into your path.
  30. As you cycle, one of your pedals snap.
  31. The semi-trailer driver forgets you are in the side lane, and encroaches too much into your territory.
  32. Your friend in pure innocence, decides to bump your back tyre.
  33. Your front tyre gets stuck in a rut next to the sidewalk.
  34. As you pedal down the hill, a car pulls out and stops in the middle of the road.
  35. You misjudge the angle of a corner.

Wow! So you actually read my list! Congratulations! Anyways, I just thought I’d give everyone out there a few more wild ideas of things that can go wrong while you’re cycling – from the common to the absurd.




photo by my good friend Jean Paul


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s