Named after the song by Train, 50 Ways to Say Goodbye.
Welcome to 35 ways to stack cycling!!!!! By the way, stack means to crash.
- Attempting to get on your bike, your foot gets stuck in the wrong stirrup.
- Attempting to get off your bike at the traffic lights, your foot gets stuck once again.
- In a moment of madness, you decide to cross the path of a car travelling at 80 kph with less than 10 metres distance.
- While whizzing down a hill at 70 kph, a car parked on the kerb swings open its door, leaving you with an unwanted door on your bike.
- As you cross the railway crossing, your bike’s thin tyres get stuck in the tracks simultaneously as you hear the approaching train’s whistle.
- Cycling late at night, you forget that there is an enormous pothole in the road.
- You decide to try answering your mobile while cycling.
- You feel tired and lower your head for a brief six seconds as you cruise into a sharp corner with a railing in front of you.
- As you attempt to break the sound barrier, your bicycle snaps in half.
- A car drives just a bit too close to the cycling lane.
- As you cycle through the intersection at the lights, you find that someone is running a red light – straight through you.
- The car directly behind you is going alot faster than you.
- The driver of the car turning directly in front forgot about the cyclist he just whizzed past.
- The car coming out of the sidestreet apparently didn’t look left and right.
- You forgot to pump your tyres up, and hit a terrific bump which resulted in a horrific bang.
- You hit road spikes laid out by some thoughtful individual.
- The person who decided to play chicken with you, finds out that he swung the steering wheel a bit too far and that you’re no chicken.
- While cycling downhill off-road, you come to a fork. Choosing one, you sprint down it to find that it ends in a three metre drop.
- You catch an egg on your glasses.
- The car in front decides to slow down from 40 kph to 10 kph, with you directly behind it.
- As you glide through the shopping centre carpark, some goon decides to step on the gas as he accelerates.
- Some impatient driver decides to overtake a car via the side lane, only to find that you WERE cycling there, but not anymore.
- While off-road, you decide to take a sharp corner drifting, only to find that you drift off the edge and into the forest.
- Going downhill, you suddenly realise that your breaks are broken.
- In order to surprise any would-be thieves, you release both your brakes. Upon resumption of cycling, you forget all about your handiwork.
- That mangy mutt decides to cross the road right in front of you.
- As you put your effort into climbing the hill, you find that your handlebars have structural rust – big-time.
- As you approach a pedestrian, you give them a friendly warning with your bell, to have them step directly in front of you.
- As you cycle past a blissfully ignorant passer-by, he decides to step directly into your path.
- As you cycle, one of your pedals snap.
- The semi-trailer driver forgets you are in the side lane, and encroaches too much into your territory.
- Your friend in pure innocence, decides to bump your back tyre.
- Your front tyre gets stuck in a rut next to the sidewalk.
- As you pedal down the hill, a car pulls out and stops in the middle of the road.
- You misjudge the angle of a corner.
Wow! So you actually read my list! Congratulations! Anyways, I just thought I’d give everyone out there a few more wild ideas of things that can go wrong while you’re cycling – from the common to the absurd.
photo by my good friend Jean Paul