Me and You

All these things I can never tell
But holding it in is a living hell
So I take the pen to jot my thoughts
Which from my troubled heart swell.

I know I made mistakes. Would say
to you, I’m the one to blame
But that’s because I’m a man
Who’s willing to walk through flames

It’s not like I’m innocent
Not like perfect. But I want to be
I want perfection to be more than dreams
I insist it become reality

But the fact is, I fall more than I walk
Lose more than I win. Fail more than succeed.
More often worse than better, dark than light
And care less about you than I care about me.

That’s not what you told me. It’s what I see
When I inspect what the mirror reflects to me
I’m not looking to all the things you did wrong
I just want to know why all these things be?

Why do you cut me off, when I really did try?
What was it with all your silky, blinding lies?
What did I do, that deserved your treachery?
What were my sins that made this great divide?

Here is my heart, I never hid it from you
Never told you I was something I wasn’t
In fact, if you ever asked me to be honest
I’d tell you the darkness within that hovers

But you never asked. And took me to task
On what? I have no idea, and I never asked
Guess I’ll never know, but this one thing
At least I can say, I never wore a mask

I die true – I wish such could be said for you
But you’re nothing but a double-crossing fool
I done well could have been perfect
Still wouldn’t have been enough for you.

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Lost Me

You had me – even after you walked all over my heart

But now you slither back with your silly lies – I depart

Don’t have time to play a masquerade – no action, all wordplay

I’m leaving you forever now – you’ll never find me after today.

I want the real you, not a mask. I want truth not your lies

It seems what I ask is too much for you, too much to confide

So I’m taking the boltcutters and setting myself free

You had me – but now you’ve forever lost me

Disguised

You all think you’re something special

Like you’re some human who’s actually an angel

Just covering up and disguised as the devil.

Wait, I may have said it backwards –

You’re like a human who’s actually the devil

Just covering up and disguised as an angel.

Never mind, does it matter?

When the fire ceases and smoke scatters

I still lay here shattered

To peer behind the disguise is truly

One thing that haunts me

As the truth slowly dawns on me

You’re truly hideous to behold

If only you didn’t glitter like gold

Not all that glitters is gold

 

Pocketful of Pain

A couple of bright red roses,

Bought you a couple of colorful posies

Kiss on the cheek, dance in the rain

Would you believe, twas all a pocketful of pain

Walking under the park’s tree

 

Lying among the grass and leaves

Laughing in the rain

Twas a pocketful of pain

Your first text to my phone

Smiling to myself when I’m alone

Counting days to see you again

Oh this was a pocketful of pain

Evenings spent on one knee

Sweeping you off your feet

Long drives, hand-in-hand

Somehow opened a pocketful of pain

All I Want

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I always knew it was too good to be true,
But still I tried reaching out for you.
You made me high, you sent me mad.
You made me reach out like I had never dared.
The short times we spent together
Shrouded in mysterious ether.
Till it came crashing down:
The reality and code by which we were bound.
Love can triumph over all, but it takes a soul
Not afraid to take a fall.
Tis neither were we. And so it died.
At least I could say I tried.
So frustrated by the fact I never knew
What ghosts haunted you.
Never got to see what was inside your heart –
No, perhaps not, but just a part.
A dark mystery of what could have been?
A bright future ahead if I could’ve seen?
I’m not one to walk away,
But that’s all that seems left to me today:
But ‘fore I walk away and let it be,
All I want to know, is did you ever love me?

Story behind the poem:

All I want to know, is did you ever love me, or was it all just a game?

GZ

picture by Dennis Wong