Sea of Indecision

Down inside me

You’ll find a sea

Where no sailor

Did sail or swore

Where no waves fall

Nor seagulls call

Wind changes like time

Having four minds

North, East, South, West

There is no rest

Sometimes a breeze

The heat to ease

Sometimes a gale

You can’t prevail

Where waters blue

Hypnotize you

Sea sirens sing

Doom impending

Death sounds so sweet

Sung from their lips

You fall asleep

Wake six feet deep

Here in the blue

A ship sees you

A single ship

Here doth now slip

Battered wood beams

Tattered sail seams

Splintering deck

Speed tis wind-checked

Wallowing still

Yet free of will

Yet not moving

For not choosing

The captain here

He’s full of fear

He no sailor –

A voyager

Who fell asleep

And drifted deep

He found himself

Stuck in this gulf

With no compass

No man to ask

Watching time pass

Growing old fast

Tales of heros

His own ethos

Call to action

He’s distracted

Encircling

Green and bold rings

Of pieces of land

We call islands

Separated

By gulfs between

So that one choice

All he can voice

For to arrive

Will take such time

To get to one

Your life is done

So he delays

In the blue stays

Drifting here, there

Going nowhere

The sea of indecision

Claiming yet another victim

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How I Feel

It’s like this – I always get hit when I think I’m free.
It’s right then something always hits me.
I only wanted to help – not see you slip away.
Fall into the same pit I did – misery and decay.
But it’s like there’s always a catch.
We say we won’t fall but we’re caught looking back.
Thought I could walk this line: maybe I can –
But thinking about this leaves me with shaking hands.
The rush of my blood makes me feel alive
And I think you feel it too, but I could be mesmerized.
I know how to play this game, but so far I’ve failed.
I go mountain climbing to find my partner bailed.
I always say I’m going to slow it down
But I always find myself floating off the ground.
Don’t want to go to high – lose control
Crash and burn – lose the treasure I hold.
So here I am, spilling what I feel inside –
The fears that plague me at night.
Seriously doubting if I can leave it the way it is –
Don’t want to time it wrong and ruin this.
Afraid that you don’t get this feeling –
Worried it’ll end with you leaving.
You make me feel alive – but don’t know if it’ll survive,
Maybe I should just let it flow and maybe I’ll revive.