Sea of Indecision

Down inside me

You’ll find a sea

Where no sailor

Did sail or swore

Where no waves fall

Nor seagulls call

Wind changes like time

Having four minds

North, East, South, West

There is no rest

Sometimes a breeze

The heat to ease

Sometimes a gale

You can’t prevail

Where waters blue

Hypnotize you

Sea sirens sing

Doom impending

Death sounds so sweet

Sung from their lips

You fall asleep

Wake six feet deep

Here in the blue

A ship sees you

A single ship

Here doth now slip

Battered wood beams

Tattered sail seams

Splintering deck

Speed tis wind-checked

Wallowing still

Yet free of will

Yet not moving

For not choosing

The captain here

He’s full of fear

He no sailor –

A voyager

Who fell asleep

And drifted deep

He found himself

Stuck in this gulf

With no compass

No man to ask

Watching time pass

Growing old fast

Tales of heros

His own ethos

Call to action

He’s distracted

Encircling

Green and bold rings

Of pieces of land

We call islands

Separated

By gulfs between

So that one choice

All he can voice

For to arrive

Will take such time

To get to one

Your life is done

So he delays

In the blue stays

Drifting here, there

Going nowhere

The sea of indecision

Claiming yet another victim

A Zombie

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I remember rainy days – we’d laugh and play

Now I just sit in a corner and waste away

Those were the days – we were first out the blocks

Those were the days, we raced the clocks

Now we languish for want of passion

Now we faint before we see action

We had a raging fire in the bones

Now there’s just dying embers and coals

It once seemed like it would never end

But now it feels like we’re already dead

We were the king, the empire, the tyrant

Now we’re the peasant, the island, the defendant

It once seemed we had bulletproof vests

Now it’s like we got inside out chests

One day we were young and vibrant

Now we’re old and decadent

Once we had the strength of a thousand horses

Now we are carried away by the brook’s courses

I remember days, living high and free

Now it seems, I see more a zombie than me

Ichabod

Glory – splendor, weight, magnificence, beauty
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Blood and tears – her worst fears
Sun setting on a stormy eve
As she cradles a newborn son
Distraught, crying, she’s a dying one
Ichabod, his name shall be
For the glory hath departed from me
Tear-filled eyes twill never be dry
As she lets out a final cry
Ichabod – no glory – this heartbreak story
No glory, no glory, we strive yet no glory
For our complacence we are dispossessed
We strangers of the land we possessed
The high and mighty brought low
When we have no glory whence will we go?
The high priests thence be slaves
Whence they abandoned the Ancient of Days
No glory – riches become rags
Our muscles now sag
The young become faint
We grow weary – our visions grow quaint
The gold has tarnished – the silver is dull
What will wake us out this lull?
No wind, no breathe, no voice in the inner place
For the Almighty hath turned away his face!
Our bones grow cold, sitting alone
We build sepulchres out of stone
Bury ourselves inside somewhere we died
Don’t know where, when, or why
But the glory has departed
We are still en passant
The lofty and the brave
Now lie in their grave
Weak feeble men now stand fumbling
The great gifts and riches given to them
Ichabod – no glory, he bears the shame
Forever emblazoned in his name
Thou my child art condemned
To a life devoid of wealth and freedom
One day, thou wilt tell thy children
In my days, we lost the glory we were given
We who held the oracles of the Most High
Now reduced to ashes under a desert sky
Our nation’s powerful rise
Is suddenly crippled from all the lies
The glory which was, is no more
Our strong men have fallen in war
The leaves which were budding
Now shrivelling up to die
No swansong, no peak, no finish.
When the glory leaves, what will one do instead?
The dread in thy eyes, will to death rise
For nothing can the lack of glory suffice
No glory – we will but slowly die
Someone seize it ‘fore it passes us by

And the messenger answered and said, “Israel is fled before the Philistines, and there hath been also a great slaughter among the people, and thy two sons also, Hophni and Phinehas, are dead, and the ark of God is taken.”

And it came to pass, when he made mention of the ark of God, that he fell from off the seat backward by the side of the gate, and his neck brake, and he died: for he was an old man, and heavy. And he had judged Israel forty years.

And his daughter in law, Phinehas’ wife, was with child, near to be delivered: and when she heard the tidings that the ark of God was taken, and that her father in law and her husband were dead, she bowed herself and travailed; for her pains came upon her.

And about the time of her death the women that stood by her said unto her, “Fear not; for thou hast born a son.”

But she answered not, neither did she regard it. And she named the child Ichabod, saying, “The glory is departed from Israel:” (because the ark of God was taken, and because of her father in law and her husband). And she said, “The glory is departed from Israel: for the ark of God is taken.” (1 Samuel 4:17-22)

In Memory of Labella

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Dear Anna,

I find it hard to believe you’re gone. You were like a mother to me, with your lasagna, cat I played with, and my drawings which you stuck on your fridge. I’ll never forget all the mischief I did.

The last time I say you, you could no longer remember my name. I wanted to cry because I knew this day would come, but still, I have no tears – because I know you were more than just beautiful in name – you had a beautiful heart that pleased God. And I know you will never forget or grow old again, but live happily in a mansion just for you – and one day, I’m going to cross over to join you.

Thank you for your quiet selflessness, your inspirational cheer, the constant support that followed this little one through till he dwarfed you.

Lots of love

Till we meet again.

Joses T.

Angel of My Dreams

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The demon of my dreams was once an angel

She was once adorned with a golden halo

Like a dreaming wonderland

It suddenly becomes a taunting never-land

The friend we once held close

Now is a thief dressed in a cloak

She once held an apple, promising love

But now she chases with hunting knives

Now I’m grasping at straws

Blaming all my stupid flaws

Was it all just a magical illusion?

Was it my gullible mind under delusion?

You’re so beautiful and so innocent

Yet so vile, scheming, and malificent

Shift-shaping serpent, singing siren

Blindfold and plug my ears ‘fore I dive in

‘Fore I dive in and die

Don’t let me fall in love with a lie.

Definition of Sirens:

  1. In Greek mythology, the Sirens (Greek singular: Σειρήν Seirēn; Greek plural: Σειρῆνες Seirēnes) were dangerous yet beautiful creatures, portrayed as femmes fatales who lured nearby sailors with their enchanting music and voices to shipwreck on the rocky coast of their island.

photo by Alessandro Prada